Val and Marty

Infertility is a journey no one expects to take. Our journey has shaped our lives in ways we never could have imagined. In July of 2018, we eagerly began trying to conceive only to face a year of disappointment before being referred to a fertility clinic. Our first IUI in 2019 failed which led us to IVF at a Toronto fertility clinic in 2020, which was 4 hours from our home in Northern Ontario.

That cycle gave us three genetically viable embryos, and our first frozen embryo transfer led us to welcoming our beautiful son in April 2021. He is truly the light of our lives.

When he was just nine months old we knew it was time to start trying for a sibling, understanding that the road ahead could be long. Then, in May 2022, we were blessed with a miracle we had believed impossible for us — a natural pregnancy. However, our joy was short-lived when we miscarried only a few weeks later, shattering our lives and leaving us heartbroken. An ambulance trip to the ER due to complications after the miscarriage only deepened the trauma. After a few months, we picked ourselves up and began hoping again as we traveled down to Toronto to move forward with our second frozen embryo transfer in August 2022. The transfer failed; we were not pregnant. We grieved, healed, and picked ourselves up once more. In November 2022 we tried again, only to receive devastating news minutes before the transfer we had lost our last embryo in the thawing process.  At that point we felt our dream of having a second child was now further than ever before.

After months of mourning, reflecting and therapy, we embarked on a new IVF cycle in January 2023. From that egg retrieval surgery we retrieved 11 eggs, six of which fertilized.  Unfortunately, none of them survived to Day 5, which meant we had no viable embryos available to freeze for a transfer. The cycle, which included multiple trips to Toronto, an immense emotional and physical toll, a significant financial burden, many injections, medication and hormone fluctuations, was all a total loss. The grief was overwhelming, and for the first time we questioned whether our dream of growing our family was even possible. We were scared that we would never be able to offer our son a sibling but decided we weren’t ready to give up.

In May 2023, we decided to try once more. Back to Toronto we went and this time we had 9 fertilized eggs, but only one developed to a viable Day 5 blastocyst. We clung to hope and genetically tested our single but very special embryo. It was genetically viable: we had a chance! Many months later, after prioritizing our healing, both physically and emotionally, we proceeded with the transfer in March 2024 — a “perfect” transfer, according to our fertility doctor. The two week wait was brutal, but we remained hopeful. This had to be it - all of the heartbreak, physical and emotional pain, will have been worth it if this transfer was successful. Devastatingly, our hearts shattered again and even deeper. Our perfect transfer of our one and only embryo created from 2 new IVF cycles had failed.

We took a step back, exhausted from the years of treatments, travel, waiting and worrying which had consumed our lives. Our life as a family and couple had been driven by infertility for so many years, and we had to seriously contemplate the very real idea of being a family of three. After several months of rarely speaking about our future plans and giving ourselves time to breathe and to think, we realized the dream of being a family of 4 and having a sibling for our son never left us. We started to explore the idea of embryo adoption more and more seriously, as we continued trying naturally, despite knowing our chances were slim. And then, in September 2024, life surprised us in the most unexpected, beautiful way: a second natural pregnancy.

The first trimester was filled with fear, every moment shadowed by past loss, but we made it through. Now, in the third trimester, we are eagerly awaiting our second baby boy and a little brother for our four-year-old. And somehow, we find comfort in knowing that our 2 miracle boys will always be protected by our 4 angels that we never got to meet but will always hold in our hearts. Life is mysterious - so painfully unpredictable, yet beautifully magical all at once. We once read that the longer you wait for something the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. And oh, how we will always cherish this long-awaited miracle rainbow baby, alongside his very special big brother.

To those still in the trenches of infertility, we see you. We know your pain, your exhaustion, your hope that refuses to fade. You are not alone. This journey is cruel, but we believe that the resilience, love, and solidarity within our community are stronger. Listen to your gut, advocate for yourself and allow yourself time to heal. Your story may not be over yet. 💙🌈

In solidarity,
Val and Marty

💚 Sponsored in part by First Response Canada

This 1 in 6 story is proudly supported by First Response Canada, whose commitment to fertility awareness and education helps us amplify real voices and real journeys. Together, we are changing the conversation around fertility in Canada—one story at a time.