Our struggle with infertility was a long difficult road but I would do it all again to have our daughter! Like most we tried for a year with no luck, contacted a doctor who then referred us to a clinic. From that point on it was a battle daily - 2 miscarriages, 2 surgery’s and an ectopic pregnancy until that day 5 years later when we welcomed our beautiful daughter. During the surgery for my ectopic pregnancy, the doctor discovered I had stage 4 endometriosis. With this diagnosis brought on a lot of feelings…
Infertility can be a very lonely journey to travel, constantly feeling like there is something wrong with you and blaming yourself. Having those moments where through all the tears your just mad! Mad that after everything you had put myself through- followed all the rules, did everything they asked, prepared your body, got as healthy as you could-and still it didn’t work! I read a post once that said, “maybe it’s not going to be easy, maybe you’re one of the rare few who can handle tough times and still choose to be a loving person. Maybe it’s going how it’s going, because you’re built for it...” I believe that is true.
At that time I told myself, maybe I will never be a mom or maybe I will! I have learned that it’s okay to be sad, to cry and to mourn the loss of something. I have also learned that in those moments it’s okay to be happy, to let yourself live and to take life for all its challenges, and to make something wonderful of it! To surround yourself with the people who bring out that spark inside you that was lost, and to not let yourself become defined as having infertility issues and being consumed with the idea of becoming a mother. I will always be ME and I will remind myself that being me is pretty awesome despite all the tough times!
This is Infertility.... it’s raw, it’s emotional and it brings out strength in you that you never knew you had until your looking at straight in the face!
I feel like we need to be open in sharing our stories to help each other. Around year 3 I started to journal and share our story with others and in doing this I have met some of our now closest friends. It is a bond unlike any other to meet other people who are also struggling and to know you are not walking this road alone!