Crystal

Never did I think I would ever have troubles conceiving. I see it all the time. Everyone is announcing their newest arrival. Babies are every where, especially in my family. I come from a very large family. My mother was one of fourteen siblings (that survived to adulthood). I don’t even want to try and count the number of cousins I have, just on that one side. But here I am, sitting and waiting for my BFP to come.

My first marriage, I was 27 years old. My husband and I tried to conceive even before our wedding. We had found out his father had pancreatic cancer and we wanted to have a baby before he passed. Sadly, that grandchild never came from us. At that time, we were living in a very small town an the closest fertility clinic was a minimum three hour drive away. So we never bothered. I figured, I am young (ish), I have mostly regular periods, and no known major health concerns. Plus, my husband fathered a child before we met, so all should have been just fine. I didn’t really understand, or, try to track ovulation at that point. Everyone just said, “Relax and it will happen”. My husband and I tried for four years until our marriage broke down and we went our separate ways.

Fast forward to now. I am newly married to an amazingly patient and wonderful man. He will be 33, and I will be 36 this summer. We have been trying to conceive for over a year now. But now, my cycles are all over the place. They are anywhere from 21 days up to 46 days. After dealing with an extremely painful ruptured cyst a few months ago, I went for a follow up appointment at my local women’s clinic. My doctor didn’t hesitate. She sent off a referral to our local fertility clinic right then. Now we wait for our first appointment. I have done a crazy amount of research in trying to prepare for what we could expect. Everything from tests, procedures, medications, what is covered (not a lot, but thankfully I have work medical benefits for the drugs), what possible causes are and even more. Waiting for that first consultation feels like an eternity. We debated on sharing our news of Infertility with others, or keeping it silent. There seems to be such a lack of awareness about infertility and what it means for couples. Most do not realize how common it is. Thus, I decided to start a blog. Sharing my thoughts, emotions, venting, and every step of our journey, to anyone who wants to read. We have shared this on facebook for all of our friends and family to see. The response has been wonderful. I have discovered I am not alone in this. So many people have shared with me their stories and experiences. They have given me advice and opened the door to have further chats with them. I have no idea if our journey will be short or long, successful or, heartbreakingly, unsuccessful. But we are holding hands and ready to jump in to this together, with the support of much of our friends and family!