The idea of sharing our journey is terrifying to me but yet I have gained so much from hearing about other people's journeys that I knew I needed to share ours. I almost feel unsure of whether our journey is actually a true story of infertility but then again I am reminded of all the misunderstanding around fertility and how that makes people unsure of what they are dealing with.
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for a year and a half. I am 27 and my husband is 29. We never in a million years thought that getting pregnant would be an issue. We have built a life together in the way you are told to. First comes love, then we bought our home, we got married, and naturally, a year and a half ago, realized the next step was babies.
After a few months of trying, we definitely started trying a little harder with cycle and ovulation monitoring. Ten months into trying, I was becoming overwhelmed with the disappointment of not conceiving month after month. I made an appointment with my doctor and was told that it can often take up to a year to conceive and they would not send me for any testing until we had been trying for twelve months. After two more disappointing months, I went back to my doctor and finally got referred to an OBGYN. He has been amazing and has guided us through our first stage of tests.
While we were both going through the motions of all the required testing, the unthinkable happened: my period was substantially late and while I had vowed not to buy another home pregnancy test, I bit the bullet and bought one. And there it was the BIG FAT positive I had been praying for 16 months. I was ecstatic. My husband was ecstatic. My OBGYN was on vacation. I couldn't believe it!! I was relieved that we wouldn't have to deal with all the crazy testing and actually going to the fertility clinic. The next morning, I did another test just to be sure. It was a lot fainter than the other test. My stomach sank. I knew it was over – my moment of excitement had been snatched away. Later that day, I got the heaviest period I had ever had...I had had a chemical pregnancy. This was debilitating. I didn't know how to deal. My OBGYN was away, I left a voicemail which I am sure now made me sound like a crazy person but in that moment, I was a crazy person. In the end there was nothing to do but to continue to move forward. In some ways, this was good news as it was a sign that we could get pregnant.
Both my husband and I were sent through preliminary testing, and we came back to the OBGYN about two months after our initial meeting to discuss the results. My husband got a clean bill of health. His swimmers are healthy and happy. Which is great! I seemed to be generally in good fertile shape but did have a uterine polyp that required surgery. I had a polypectomy and D&C two months ago and we were told to wait one cycle before trying again.
I went for my follow-up last week and our next step is the fertility clinic. So far the OBGYN has "diagnosed" me with unexplained infertility. Wrapping my head around that is difficult. I have good days and I have bad days. I am grateful for my loving husband but I know that some days me crying over a pregnancy announcement or shower invitation is too much for him. I am so grateful for online communities and hearing others stories. I never thought at 26, now 27, years old that I would be having a discussion about infertility. And for a very long time, I felt like I was the only person in the world dealing with it. I've learned through becoming more open and honest about our journey that there are many people in our lives going through their own fertility journeys. And that's why a statistic like 1 in 6 needs to be shared. You aren't alone in this and you don't have to be. Now, 20 months into trying with no clear end in sight, I recognize the need for awareness and understanding when it comes to infertility. I hope that by sharing our story, I can help others understand and help others going through a similar experience.