How I Made It Through My Two Week Wait

Anyone who has ever been through an IVF cycle that resulted in at least one embryo will know the agony that comes with the two-week wait.  At least the wait period after your egg retrieval is only five days to see how many embryos you have.   The two-week wait is for me the most agonizing fourteen days.  I tried referring to it as a fortnight but that really just makes it sound like a fancier wait of agony.  My last transfer I didn’t have a game plan and came completely undone as a person to the point that my husband had to limit my internet time.  This transfer I had a plan that I stuck to, February 13th was my beta and here is how I made it through my two-week wait.  

 I Kept Myself Busy. 

Not in a constantly on the move way, as that is not recommended by my clinic in the week after transfer.  In fact I took a few days off following my transfer and caught up on correspondence with pen pals, and just tasks that I had let lapse for a while.  My biggest thing was keeping my mind occupied so that it kept me from overthinking.  In the short span of thirteen days I watched five seasons of programs on Netflix, as well as some movies.  Except for the few days that I took off, I was still working and that helped keep my mind busy during the day, but at night I needed something to pass the time.   I was very lucky this round as my sister in-law was visiting from Cape Breton so that meant suppers out, and some family time, this made the wait pass a lot quicker.  

 I Did Not Compare. 

Last cycle I was on so many forums trying to turn any symptom into a positive pregnancy.  I spent all of my time looking up symptoms and then overanalyzing any that I had.  Were my boobs as sore as this lady posting about hers?  Did I have implementation cramping or was it period cramping?  Progesterone gives you almost all of the same symptoms as an early pregnancy so that is really not helpful when you are on 300mg a day.  I compared how much medication I was taking to other women, and I had no idea what their situation was.  Some ladies were on baby aspirin, should I be?  Before this I didn’t even know that baby aspirin existed.  What is uterine glue and why doesn’t my doctor use it? It drove me to the point where I wondered if I should try another clinic, and I love my RE and my clinic.

This transfer I decided not to compare.  I am involved in a couple of IVF support groups on Facebook that are amazing.  The women in them are a wealth of knowledge and support.  I find it helpful to be able to talk, vent, and to get answers or suggestions from other women going through the same thing as you.  This FET there was six other women who transferred on the same day or within one day of myself.  Through the two-week wait they were posting their symptoms and asking how others felt.  I didn’t compare their progress or symptoms to mine.  I didn’t ask what grade their embryos were, or how many transfers they had done, I didn’t ask what medications they were on post transfer, Instead I offered positive support and then moved on. 

I Kept A Journal. 

 After my second IVF round that resulted in no embryos I saw a counsellor that helped me work through my loss, and start to move on.  One of the best pieces of advice that she has ever given me was to take no more than thirty minutes a day to write down all of my concerns, less than positive thoughts, and then let it go.  Don’t spend my day worrying that this could be a positive pregnancy that ends at ten weeks, use my time to focus on real issues in the present, and not the what ifs.  This was a huge help for me the last two weeks.  There were times through the two weeks that I found my mind drifting and as instructed I acknowledged my thoughts and then sent them away, like leaves floating down a stream.  I didn’t dwell on what will happen if this transfer doesn’t take.  Instead I focused on things I have control over right now.   

My Husband. 

I am so lucky to have Ryan in my life.  I am lucky that his relaxed, patient, roll with it attitude brings my high strung, impatient, constant planning self down to reality once in a while.  During these two weeks there have been a lot of tears, hormonal episodes, some while searching for containers for storage at Walmart.  There have been days that I have struggled to get out of bed with depression, one of the pleasant side effects that progesterone gives me.  Ryan has been there the whole time with an infinite amount of patience.  He gives me a side to every situation that I wouldn’t ever consider.  He has been adamant about me not lifting anything heavy and has been really helpful around the house.  He gives me my progesterone injection every third day and though it was nerve racking at first, letting someone else inject you where you have no control, I wouldn’t want anyone else doing it.   I cannot even imagine going through any of these treatments without his support.  

I Tested. 

Last transfer I didn’t test at all, instead I lived in the agony of having no idea of what was going on.  This round I justified to myself that I would test, if it came back negative I wouldn’t be upset, I would just continue on.  After all from all of my comparison and internet research I have learned that some women don’t ever get a positive before their beta and still end delivering a healthy baby.  I started testing on 6dp5dt (six days post 5 day transfer) and I have continued up until 13dp5dt.  I tested once every day using the same type and brand of test.  I used the reasoning that if a positive showed up then I would want to know if I ended up with a chemical pregnancy along the way.   I don’t put any faith in my results as I know that the beta numbers are what matter, but I know what I am like and didn’t want to stress about not having any idea what side I was on this time.  There are so many reasons out there that are against testing, and of course home pregnancy tests are not always the most reliable.  I say do whatever makes your comfortable as long as you are ok with not getting the result that you were looking for.     

 No matter what the results of my beta are, I have no regrets of how I made it through my two-week wait.  Though I am nervous for what might begin the next chapter of our lives, I also know that I have the most supportive husband that I could ask for and wherever our fertility journey takes us I’m glad that he is by my side.  

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By Sarah, sparklessarcasm.blogspot.ca