As a husband, it was difficult to watch my wife struggle daily with feeling like she was “broken”. She knew from the start it would be a difficult journey but I don’t think either of us were truly prepared. Watching her go through test after test, procedure after procedure, and multiple disappointments was worse than I could ever have imagined. I am someone who “fixes things” and the hardest part was just having to be there to be by her side, knowing I couldn’t change or do anything to fix it.
Through our journey, there were many changes; ups, downs and all arounds. Tears, laughter, sadness, frustration, happiness and at times full blown anger. Not only was I supporting my wife going through this journey, but deep inside, I really wanted a child too and felt like no matter what I was going through, my wife was more important.
I needed to be there for her, after all, she’s the one that is going through all the pokes, prods and tests. It was a blessing that she understood that I was struggling with it too, and was there to support me when I needed it. At first I didn’t think it was affecting me, but as the process went on, I began to realize it really did. From the first chemical pregnancy, to only having one viable embryo, to eventually hearing my daughter cry for the first time, all that affected me.
A few things I’ve learnt on our journey are: fertility struggles are way more common than I thought, we are better as a team, support goes both ways and feelings go both ways. I am so very lucky to have my amazing wife in my life and extremely thankful for our miracle daughter.