I am the one in six. But, for many years during my fertility challenge, it felt more like one in a million.
My husband, Nathan, and I thought it would be easy because that’s what we were told growing up - how easy it is to get pregnant. We were never taught about things like miscarriages, endometriosis or infertility treatments. In 2012, at age 29, when we first decided to try and start a family, I can’t help but look back and laugh at how sure we were that we’d get pregnant on the first try. Little did we know, we were just beginning our infertility journey.
During the first few months of failing to conceive I started to experience the first signs of pelvic pain. Doctors wouldn’t take my pain seriously and because we hadn’t been “trying to conceive for more than a year”, there was nothing they were willing to explore further. My chronic pelvic pain was written off as changing hormones from going off of birth control.
After a tear filled year of disappointment and increased pain, we were finally pregnant and my due date was only three days apart from my twin sister’s. It was meant to be! Or so we thought. We lost our baby at eight weeks and my pelvic pain, which had subsided during pregnancy, returned in full force. I was embarrassed. I felt like a failure as a wife and as a woman. But, at least doctors began to pay us some attention.
It was suspected that if we could address and combat the pelvic pain, our chances of conceiving would increase. The next two years included visits to at least twenty different eastern and western medical practitioners, prescriptions for the pain, an endometriosis diagnosis and a laparoscopy, a cortisone injection in my back that one doctor was certain would help, flights to see specialists, sick days from work, increasing expenses, and hours spent researching and in waiting rooms. I was on an emotional rollercoaster and I wanted off. And, by this point, since we’d started trying, many of my friends were already pregnant for a second time, which felt like a kick in the ovaries.
As the months of trying rolled on and the pain increased, so did our frustration. Doctors diagnosed us with “Unexplained Infertility” and gave us just a 2% chance of conceiving on our own. In the fall of 2014, with no answers and no reason to be optimistic, I was at rock bottom physically and emotionally. My confidence was gone. I was spiteful, negative and couldn’t enjoying the things which had previously brought me the most happiness.
For years I’d had a copy of Rhonda Byrne’s ‘The Secret’ sitting on my bookshelf, but was never motivated enough to read it. Even though I was losing hope, it was my longing desire to have a family that made me finally decide to read it. What did I have to lose? Discovering and practicing the law of attraction was a turning point for me. Using the power of positivity, I took matters into my own hands. I changed my outlook, got to a healthier state, mentally and physically, and made it my mission to track down all the best doctors.
With a fresh perspective and finally finding professionals who I felt truly cared, we began fertility treatments. The doctors told us with the help of IUI treatments we’d have a 15% chance of conceiving, but after five unsuccessful attempts, we had to consider another option. We decided to take a vacation, to get away from the stresses we were dealing with and to prepare to proceed with an IVF treatment. But we never did the IVF treatment because we conceived without it that month. Without IVF, without IUI…without trying. We became an infertility success story. We were pregnant! Well, we never did actually “stop” trying, or stopped thinking about how badly we wanted a family, for that matter (babies and kids are everywhere). But for that month, we at least attempted to stop worrying about it and remain optimistic going forward. In turn, we experienced the power of positivity prevail.
We were finally going to become parents - we had been dreaming this for what felt like such a long time. But, with those months came more worry. Flashbacks of our miscarriage and an unrelenting pelvic pain (which was supposed to have subsided once pregnant). The hard months prior were not forgotten, instead viewed as life lessons to make us stronger and better parents.
We welcomed our son in August of 2015, three weeks early, via C-section (he was breech and I went into labour early!). And despite all the challenges we had to overcome together, we finally won. The heartache we endured was well worth the love we had for this child we’d created.
Over the years, the pelvic pain never did go away. But with the help and support of my caring eastern and western medical specialists, by continuing to practice the power of positivity, and with the loving support of my husband, family and friends – after opening up about our journey, we are blessed with TWO beautiful and healthy boys, Oscar & Romeo.
When I read about other’s fertility stories and witness the physical pain some have to endure, and as I tuck my two boys into bed at night - our journey doesn’t seem so hard. Not everyone gets a happy ending. We all have our own challenges to overcome, big or small, and I believe that by sharing experiences with others, we empower each other to find the strength to overcome anything life throws at us.
I am a mommy now and grateful for our success story. I am the #1in6 and I am a fertility warrior.