“Faith is the bridge between where I am and the place where God is taking me.”
Like any other little girl growing up I played house, fantasized about who I would marry, how many children I would have and what they would look like.
As I got older, I watched my cousins and friends get married and start families of their own. I was even blessed with the honor of being the birth coach for the delivery of my best friend’s daughter.
I began dating my husband, Jason, the summer of 2003 and we were married a few years later on October 7, 2007. As a married couple, we had high hopes of starting a family of our own. However, life doesn’t always go as dreamed or planned. As a result, we had to regroup and come to terms with circumstances beyond our control and accept the unfair hand that we had been dealt.
Our infertility has led us to many paths including IVF, adoption, surrogacy and egg donation. I have experienced every emotion possible with this journey from hope, joy and excitement to anger, guilt/shame, tremendous loss, unimaginable heartache and grief.
I have grieved the loss of my genetic heritage, the yearning of our baby growing in the safety of my womb and hearing my heartbeat from the inside. I have agonized over many sleepless and anxiety-riddled nights about the ethical questions of “playing God”, pre-genetic embryo testing, and early termination of pregnancy. Heavy topics that most fertile parents-to-be are not forced to consider pre-conception.
Deprived of the opportunity to make and carry my own flesh and blood baby, I found myself questioning, “Where do I fit in this reproductive equation?”
On December 23, 2015 all of this was about to change. I met our Canadian Fertility Consulting (CFC) Earth Angel at an Ultramar gas station (of all places).
On Saturday January 9, 2016 we were sent a copy of the Intended Parent Resource Guide, Intended Parent Profile and three (3) profiles of available surrogates to review. Within a few short hours we completed our IP Profile and expressed interest in one of the surrogates. Literally within 30 minutes of sending our e-mail and expression of interest, our Intended Parent Bio was sent to a CFC Surrogacy Support Worker and by 9:30 PM on January 11th we were officially introduced to our wonderful surrogate, Amy.
My advice to anyone navigating his or her way through the meandering fertility road? Never let a stumble in the road be the end of the journey.
If you are experiencing difficulty with fertility, seek professional help early. Do not hesitate or waste one second of time! In Fertility Land, time is of the essence. You need not suffer in silence or be in this journey alone.