We never realized how bumpy our path would be, we almost didn’t finish our journey
We Are #1in6
We’re sure our story started like every other one – two people in love, already having a blended family and wanting to grow that family. But we were different than some. Being a lesbian couple, we were missing a key ingredient to family growth.
Our story began in November 2015 – we had a hope, a dream and a HUGE secret – we were keeping our surprise to ourselves until we were sure it could happen. We booked our first appointment at the clinic and waited a few months for our appointment. Once we had that first appointment – our hearts grew even more hopeful – everything was falling into place, the test results were perfect and the timing couldn’t have been better. We found a donor who was a perfect match to what we needed (we had a small pool of donors that were a match) – round one IUI complete. The 2 week wait was upon us – the emotions one feels during this time is unexplainable – then we were “late” – excitement grew! Then devastation hit – a chemical pregnancy or an early loss, we don’t really know. It was so hard because we had met people like us and it worked the first time. There was no “explained” reason it didn’t work – no one had the answer – because there was no answer.
Two more failed IUI rounds, and no more donor samples left. Hope diminished, what could we be doing wrong? Blaming ourselves, trying to support one another and grieve at the same time. We needed to take a break for a while. After time had passed and some healing had started, we wanted to try again.
So, we purchased every possible test available to predict ovulation and chose another donor – this time, we had fertility drugs on our side! Hope started to rekindle and then two more gut-wrenching fails and no more donor sample left again. At this point we were just about ready to call it quits, we were convinced it was never going to work, and we blamed ourselves a lot. The emotional, physical, and financial stress seemed almost unbearable. It was at this point we were questioning why we hadn’t really shared our journey with anyone – it was so hard to grieve alone, we can’t imagine how it would have been having more people grieve with us. Would it have been worse? Would the heartache have been more bearable if it had been shared? We just needed time.
We had taken more time again, to heal, to think and to reevaluate what we had and what we wanted. We had a wonderful family, a beautiful 10-year-old daughter and a house full of fur and feathered kids. We were so happy, but there was also still some spark in there. So, we followed our faith, finding yet another suitable donor match. Attempt 6 was a quick decision with no preparation, so we were not surprised when the BFN showed up.
In preparation for the very last attempt we were going to make, we took the steps to reduce stress in our lives and had faith that whatever the outcome, this was our journey and it was what was meant to be. Off we went, Lucky number 7 (and 8 as we did two rounds, one a day around the peak time.
The dreaded 2-week wait flew by – we did all the things we normally did. 14dpai – nothing yet, no symptoms, no cycle. 16dpai – so scared to test, so nervous, so faithful…day 17 we gave in and tested – FINALLY our BFP! We went almost immediately to the hospital for beta –felt the weight gently lift when we saw the numbers. To be safe, our doctor told us to re-test in a week. The numbers were even better than we could have imagined.
Our rainbow miracle is set to arrive exactly 3 years minus one week from the day we dreamed them, 831 days of emotional rollercoasters. All the heartache and fear has prepared us for the faith and joy we feel now.
We don’t know why, but this is our time, for whatever reason- it had to be now, and we have faith this was meant to be.