To the family and friends of my infertility sisters…
To the cheerleaders, the coaches, the fans on the sidelines…
How are you holding up?
Last week was Canadian Infertility Awareness Week. You may have seen some segments on your morning talk shows, some ads online or personal op-eds in the newspaper of couples sharing their fertility stories.
Somebody put up a big sign at my fertility clinic and served breakfast. I thought to myself, you’re preaching to the choir, we’re not the ones that need to be made aware.
The number is 1 in 6 couples.
The one thing that has surprised me since I started talking openly about my experience, is the number of women in my various circles of friends who have come forward and privately confided in me that they have been going through a similar struggle.
Women are suffering in silence everywhere.
Some don’t want to reveal their experiences to their friends and family, and I get it. It’s hard.
As a friend or family member, one thing you can do is be sensitive when you ask an innocent question like, “Would you guys like to have kids?” or “When do you think you’ll start trying”. I can’t say never ask these questions altogether but certainly never ask them in a group. Be mindful that the person you’re asking could have just had 3 miscarriages.
My friend recently asked me, “What are the appropriate questions to ask?”
Honestly, everyone is different.
The best option is to simply ask, “How are you doing?”
Let them know you’re there for them and keep the door open for when and if they want to bring it up.
You don’t have to say “I didn’t want to ask but…” That makes it feel like a dirty secret. If it’s a close friend, then you can say, “How are things going?” Your friend will open up if they want to.
The question most people have been asking me about lately is: ‘What is the process of fertility treatments?’
Since every person’s treatment is different and it depends on their diagnosis, prognosis, finances and emotional needs, ‘Fertility treatments’ is a blanket statement that covers a wide range of things. Fertility doctors tailor treatments to each individual or couple, so there is no easy ‘Fertility Treatments 101’.
However, for those of you curious about learning more, here is a great article that breaks down the process of IVF –
Here is something else I wanted to share this month, as a little inspiration –
Until next time,
Scroll down to the bottom, leave a comment, send me your questions. I want to support YOU. Every month I’ll answer your questions, give you my personal suggestions and help us all get on the same page while raising awareness.
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